A viral quote from the outrageous 2005 comedy The 40 Year Old Virgin that somehow still has legs today.
David (Paul Rudd): “You know how I know you’re gay?”
Cal (Seth Rogen): “How?”
David: “You like Coldplay.”
Arguably one of the world’s biggest memes before anyone even knew what a meme was.
Side note: Man, do I miss the non PC comedies of that era.
Anyway, I’m going on record. If listening to Coldplay is considered gay, consider me a big homo.
The casuals are quick to forget the beauty and genius of Coldplay’s early catalogue.
Their first four albums, Parachutes (2000), A Rush of Blood to the Head (2002), X&Y (2005), and Viva la Vida or Death and All His Friends (2008), represent one of the strongest four album runs to launch a legendary career.
These were the albums that gave us songs like “Don’t Panic,” “Shiver,” “Yellow,” “Politik,” “In My Place,” “The Scientist,” “Fix You,” “Viva la Vida,” “Violet Hill,” and “Death and All His Friends.”
But first, let me take a moment to reminisce. I’ve been a huge Coldplay fan ever since a close friend of mine returned home in 2000 after playing professional hockey overseas in the UK.
When he returned, he handed me a burned CD with a song we all now know as “Yellow.” It had just started gaining mainstream attention in the UK but hadn’t quite crossed the pond yet.
It was quite literally music to my ears, a breath of fresh air in the middle of an alternative rock heavy era.
Look at the stars.
Look how they shine for you.
And everything you do.
Yeah, they were all yellow.
It’s hard not to smile when those opening lyrics hit.
For those who don’t know the history, Coldplay’s debut album, Parachutes, developed a cult following and eventually pushed the band into the mainstream. But the industry still had questions. Was this a moment, or did they actually have staying power?
Their second album was approached with far more caution and skepticism than its eventual impact would suggest. A Rush of Blood to the Head went on to launch Coldplay into superstardom, becoming one of the defining albums of the century and selling more than 15 million copies worldwide.
That momentum carried into album three, X&Y. Definitely more commercial, but still beautiful from start to finish. It also gave us the powerhouse single “Fix You,” still my favorite Coldplay track to date.
Then came Viva la Vida or Death and All His Friends, Coldplay’s ambitious fourth album. Released in 2008, the album was produced alongside the legendary Brian Eno, whose fingerprints can be found across career defining work from David Bowie, Talking Heads, and U2. Viva la Vida became a critical and commercial triumph, finishing as the year’s best selling album worldwide and winning Best Rock Album at the 2009 Grammy Awards.
Their commercial success and global reach would only grow from there.
But in my opinion, this is also where their songwriting and artistry peaked.
And this is where my metaphor begins to take shape …
As I said in my previous essay, This Is, Was, the Story of a Girl, every brand eventually reaches a point where scale begins asking it to compromise. The question is whether leadership answers yes.
To be clear, rock stars, pop stars, and businesses eventually wrestle with many of the same questions. What’s next? How do we take this to another level? How does a business go from a single unit to a portfolio of units? How does a band go from the garage to stadiums? Different industries, same question: How do you scale without losing the very thing that made you special in the first place?
On Coldplay’s journey to scale, they faced that same question. They were no longer in the business of playing small indie clubs. Their music was now being asked to fill arenas and create a wall of sound capable of lighting up stadiums around the world. And if I had to guess, much of what came next was strategic.
They didn’t completely sell out, but they clearly wanted to sell more.
What may surprise you is just how far Coldplay’s reach extends beyond North America and the UK. At the time of writing, they’re ranked 11th in the world on Spotify. Even more interesting is where people are listening. According to Spotify, their largest audiences are in São Paulo, Mexico City, London, Sydney, and Santiago.
Coldplay didn’t just become bigger. They became global.
For Coldplay, both the band and the brand, the gamble paid off. That doesn’t mean there aren’t critics, myself included.
I’ll be honest, I’m not a huge fan of Coldplay’s newer music. There have been some bright spots since 2009, including “Us Against the World,” “Every Teardrop Is a Waterfall,” “Always in My Head,” and “O.” But it’s been years since they crafted an album I love from start to finish.
That doesn’t mean I don’t understand the business angle. Their newer music feels strategically crafted for scale. Bigger sounds. Broader collaborations. Broader appeal.
Hell, even their 2021 album is called Music of the Spheres. Intentional? Maybe they’re already foreshadowing a future residency at the Sphere in Vegas.
Tongue in cheek analogies aside, if you have the opportunity to see Coldplay live, please do. They remain one of the greatest live acts in the world. For the rest of my life, if they’re within 60 miles of me, I’m there.
But pay attention when you do.
The greatest anticipation, the loudest cheers, and the grandest crowd sing alongs are still reserved for the very songs that gave Coldplay its voice in the first place.
There’s probably a lesson in there for all of us.
To close, I can only borrow the words of Chris Martin:
Tears stream down your face.
When you lose something you cannot replace.
Even still, if Paul Rudd’s theory holds up and listening to Coldplay determines my label, consider me as gay as they make ‘em.
Brandon Cullen
In search of life’s [im]perfect soundtrack ...
This is a superb piece! Really great rundown of the band’s catalogue and I appreciate the way you articulate your opinions without being too damning or unnecessarily negative!
I’ve recently published my first ever piece on Substack, and I’m desperate to find some big Coldplay fans to give it a read!! The piece is a deep dive into the band’s fourth album Viva La Vida, and how it totally changed the trajectory for the band forever. I find it such an interesting moment in their career. I’d love you to have a read through and see what you reckon, or send it to anyone you know who loves to think deeply about albums, Coldplay or music in general!