EGO is the [FR] ENEMY
The uncomfortable truth about ambition ...
A while back I came across a LinkedIn post that challenged Simon Sinek’s bestseller, Start with WHY: How Great Leaders Inspire Everyone to Take Action.
Full disclosure. I F’N loved that book when I first read it nearly a decade ago. I still believe in its core message today.
The post wasn’t trying to tear Sinek down or poke holes in his philosophy. It simply offered another way to think about purpose. In short, its argument was simple.
Start with WHAT, not WHY.
That subtle shift set off a game of ping pong between my ears. It forced me to confront a topic that quietly shapes far more of our lives than most people care to admit.
EGO.
Including my own.
As I mentioned, Start with WHY arrived at exactly the right time in my entrepreneurial journey. I needed that message. Sinek’s follow up, The Infinite Game? Not so much. I wanted to love it, but to me it felt too safe, too convenient, and perfectly timed.
It lacked ambition.
Fuck it. It lacked EGO.
Spend five minutes on any platform today and you’ll notice people casually diagnosing everyone around them. Narcissist. Toxic masculinity. Gaslighting. Clinical labels have become commonplace insults.
Many people now confuse confidence, ambition, and competitiveness with personality disorders. More often than not, those labels really mean one thing.
“You disagree with me.”
Or...
“I don’t like your leadership style.”
Or...
“You don’t think like me.”
Take Simon Sinek himself.
Don’t confuse humility with the absence of EGO. That’s his gift. His dopamine may come from millions of people sharing his seemingly EGOless message, but I’d wager the real high comes from being quoted, reposted, retweeted, and ultimately standing on stage as thousands applaud the man behind the message.
In other words, his EGOless agenda fuels his closet EGO.
So let me return the favor and address my own.
When my cofounder and I launched MADabolic more than fifteen years ago, our WHAT was straightforward. Create one of the most respected strength and conditioning brands in group fitness.
So what was our WHY?
I can give you the politically correct answer, or I can give you the honest one.
Let’s do both.
Through a PR lens, many encouraged us to say things like, “Our WHY is helping people.” Or my personal favorite, “Our WHY is making the world a healthier place.”
And for what it’s worth, those are worthy missions.
They just weren’t ours.
The truth?
We wanted to build something undeniable. Something that could not be ignored in any neighborhood we entered. We wanted to disrupt the fitness industry and create something competitors couldn’t copy.
And if I’m being completely honest, we wanted to be recognized for it. At least I did. I won’t speak for my much more humble business partner.
Cue the comments.
“What a narcissist.”
“What an egotistical asshole.”
“Wow. Toxic masculinity at its finest.”
Fair enough.
I’m not writing this to convince anyone. I’m simply telling you what has always driven me. And I suspect many founders, leaders, artists, athletes, and entrepreneurs quietly march to a very similar rhythm.
It sounds something like this.
“I want to create something undeniable that speaks to a specific few.”
Well class... that’s EGO. And that should be perfectly OK.
Does every company need to hold itself to Patagonia’s mission? Should every brand eventually arrive at lululemon’s relatively newish inclusive positioning
For the record, I admire both brands tremendously. Their mission simply wasn’t ours, and it doesn’t have to be yours either. We need both.
I’m comfortable admitting that my WHY has always been competition, innovation, mastery, and significance. That’s my EGO talking.
If that sounds uncomfortable, so be it.
For the amateur clinicians keeping score, CliftonStrengths, formerly known as StrengthsFinder, exists to identify an individual’s natural patterns of thinking, feeling, and behaving.
My diagnosis?
Brandon wants to build. He wants to compete. He wants to test himself. He wants to create something worthy of respect.
He’s also hoping you’ll notice.
Helping people became the byproduct of pursuing excellence, not the other way around. I’m proud of both the pursuit and the unintended outcome.
Now that the bitter aftertaste has settled in for some of you, let me offer a palate cleanser.
“Elevating the world from mediocrity to greatness.”
Recognize it?
That was lululemon’s original mission statement. Interesting, isn’t it?
And even though lululemon is cut from a much softer fabric today, it earned the right to try on inclusivity at greater scale because its founder, Chip Wilson, possessed an obsessive level of conviction that bordered on unhealthy.
What do black stretchy pants have to do with greatness?
Nothing.
That’s the point.
It’s a reminder that progress often begins with obsession. That measured EGO has a place. That relentless ambition deserves a seat at the table alongside empathy and inclusion.
Because without a healthy dose of EGO, very little of significance ever gets built.
There is no Apple without Steve Jobs.
There is no Beyoncé without Madonna.
There is no U2 without Bono.
There are no Chicago Bulls without MJ.
There is no Muhammad Ali without Cassius Clay.
And there is no lululemon without Chip Wilson.
So for those who believe EGO is the enemy, maybe it’s time to see it differently.
Maybe EGO isn’t the villain. Maybe it’s the frenemy that moves the needle.
Because the greatest irony of all is this: trying to suppress, ignore, or demonize EGO is often EGO itself.
Brandon Cullen
In search of life’s [im]perfect soundtrack ...